


Harry and Luna’s Wilderness Adventures

by 42069, Crackfic_Crookshanks (Hang_In_There_Baby_Crookshanks), swishyclang



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26356936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/42069/pseuds/42069, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hang_In_There_Baby_Crookshanks/pseuds/Crackfic_Crookshanks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/swishyclang/pseuds/swishyclang
Summary: Harry and Luna find love and creatures, but not necessarily in that order.
Relationships: Luna Lovegood/Harry Potter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4
Collections: Fanatical Fam's Crackfic Chaos





	Harry and Luna’s Wilderness Adventures

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Crackfic written by the Fanatical Fam over on the discord for the Fanatical Fics and Where To Find Them podcast!  
> These fics have been created using our favourite bot - Chocolate Frogs - during a game we like to call Crackfic Chaos.

Harry Potter gasped as he ran towards Luna. She had blood gushing from a gash on her arm and cuts all over her legs. 

As he reached her, she sprinted past him. Confused, his eyes shifted to the creature following behind her and decided he should be running as well. 

Looking around, Harry found a cave and he quickly pulled Luna into the cave with him. They sat listening, holding their breath but it seemed the monster had past.

They looked at each other. They’d wanted to be together for so long, but there were always people around them. Now in this secluded cave they finally got the moment. 

They touched lips. Their lips interlocked so that the connection outline made the pattern of a tennis ball and licked each other’s tonsils. There was generally a lot of Tongue Touching(tm). Neither Harry nor Luna had much experience with how snogging was supposed to go, but they had heard a lot about Tongue Touching and how it apparently made people soulmates. 

The cave wasn't very romantic, Harry supposed, but Luna wasn't complaining. In fact, Luna seemed to be doing the opposite of complaining! She was suddenly nude, and in his lap, and Harry was equally horrified and delighted. Harry sniffed her body and licked her wounds. The cave seemed to bring out his most primal instinct, and he wanted to devour Luna; but he tried to keep his composure. However, Luna seemed much less prudent. She wrapped around him like a snake, letting him lick her.

'Probably not the most hygienic thing to be doing in here Luna,' Harry tried awkwardly. 'Maybe we should rest for a minute and try to work out how to get out of this cave?' Luna shrugged in agreement and curled around herself, looking dejected. 

Harry winced. Maybe he had messed up? He decided to try to cheer Luna up and thought about how to do so. Now that the monster was gone, he supposed they could go elsewhere. 

"How about we apparate to Australia?" Harry suggested. "I'm inexplicably super powerful and can make the jump across the world, plus Australia has lots of weird animals for you to study. Also, I can be naked." And he was. He didn't know why that kept happening. 

So in the blink of an eye, Harry and Luna were in the Australian outback, Harry naked, Luna clothed, Harry’s man parts bouncing against his thigh as he was sprinting as fast as he could away from the kangaroo sized huntsman spider chasing after him and Luna. 

How did they escape a monster just to encounter another?? 

"Wait, Harry!" Luna cried. "He's friendly! Look!" Harry chanced a look behind him as he ran, still very aware of the fact that his sensitive areas were exposed. 

Luna was riding the spider, suddenly naked again herself, and petting its furry head as it ran. Harry decided that, as a super powerful descendant of Gryffindor, running away from kangaroo sized huntsman spiders while naked was probably not very brave if Luna was willing to ride it, so he waited for her to catch up and they rode it together.

They rode the creature aimlessly for a while, enjoying the sunshine and the breeze. 

'Luna,' Harry asked quietly. 'Do you know where they are taking us?' Luna shrugged in response, wrapping her arms tightly around Harry and resting her head on his shoulder. 'It's the end of the school year,' Harry thought to himself. 'This is a much better way to spend the summer.'


End file.
